I awoke this morning to find SM frantically tugging on the sheets and thrusting his hands under my pillows. "My mouthguard!" he exclaimed. "I can't find it."
You see, SM suffers from bruxism (he grinds his teeth in his sleep). After a recent trip to the dentist, where he learned his enamel had been ground down to an unhealthy level, SM bought a mouthguard to wear at night. This morning, SM awoke to discover that his mouthguard was nowhere to be found.
As SM continued searching for the mouthguard, his level of panic rose. "I think I might have swallowed it! I could die!"
"You're not going to die," I groaned, as I covered my head with a pillow and tried to sleep through Mouthguard Madness '08. (I was exhausted, having laid awake staring at the ceiling until 4 a.m. this morning. Gotta' love insomnia.) Not surprisingly, I quickly fell back asleep, apparently unconcerned that SM may have ingested his mouthguard and was, in fact, going to die.
When queried via email later in the morning, SM informed me that the mouthguard had been located in a laundry basket a few feet from our bed. This doesn't surprise me in the least, as my husband does some really bizarre things in his sleep. (Look for more on SM's somnambulism in a later post.)
We are now entering the infertility TMI zone . . .
Those of your following my IF saga know that my March IVF resulted in a BFN (that's a "Big Fat Negative" pregnancy test, for anyone unfamiliar with infertility vernacular). So I was forced to sit out April as a rest cycle. In May, I was benched from IVF due to high FSH, low AFC (antral follicle count) and a non-active cyst.
I used OPKs (ovulation predictor kits) to chart my April & May cycles. Both months, I was never able to get a positive. Yesterday, on cycle day 19, I began spotting. I had a minor freak-out and emailed my RE's office with the following questions:
- Is it possible that the DHEA I'm taking could be messing with my cycle? I’m on a really low dose (25 mg / day).
- Is the lack of a positive OPK a really bad sign? Is it possible that I’m not ovulating??
- Is there a super-remote possibility that I could be pregnant? When I had my blood work done at the beginning of this month, we didn't include a beta. Plus, my period was much lighter than normal.
This morning, I took a HPT and it was negative. And the spotting has ceased. Then my RE (whom I adore) called and told me I could still be pregnant and the bleeding could have been implantation bleeding. If I don’t either start my period or get a positive ovulation test by next Friday, I will go in a week from Monday for an ultrasound and blood work to see what the heck's going on.
I just don't understand why my body is constantly playing tricks on me and giving me these little glimmers of hope that I could be pregnant. Logically, I know it would be practically impossible for me to become pregnant without having eight other people in the room (including my RE, a few nurses, and an embryologist thrown in for good measure). Is it ridiculous to believe that a miracle could happen and I could get pregnant naturally?